The Things Nobody Tells You
Vietnamese culture has layers that take months or years to fully understand. Most expat guides give you the basics — don’t point your feet at people, don’t touch someone’s head — but the real cultural knowledge is subtler and more practical than that. These are the things you’ll wish someone had told you in your first week.
Communication Styles
Vietnamese communication is indirect. People rarely say “no” directly — instead, they’ll say “maybe,” “it’s difficult,” or simply go quiet. This isn’t dishonesty; it’s a deeply embedded cultural value of preserving harmony and avoiding confrontation. When your landlord says “I’ll think about it” in response to a repair request, they often mean no. When a colleague says “that might be challenging,” they’re telling you it’s not going to happen.
Learning to read indirect communication is one of the most important skills you’ll develop here. Pay attention to what isn’t said as much as what is. If someone keeps deflecting or changing the subject, that’s your answer.
Saving Face
The concept of “face” (thể diện) is central to Vietnamese interactions. Public criticism, visible anger, or anything that embarrasses someone in front of others is a serious social mistake. If you have an issue with a service, a colleague, or a landlord, address it privately and calmly. Raising your voice or displaying frustration in public — even when you’re completely justified — will make the situation worse, not better.
This also means that compliments and recognition should be given publicly, while criticism should always happen in private. Understanding this single principle will transform your relationships with Vietnamese colleagues, neighbors, and service providers.
Greetings and Respect
Vietnamese culture places enormous importance on age and hierarchy. When meeting someone, the older person is greeted first. When dining, the eldest person at the table starts eating first. In conversation, older people’s opinions carry more weight.
The word “anh” (older brother/man), “chị” (older sister/woman), and “em” (younger person) aren’t just pronouns — they’re relational markers that Vietnamese people use constantly. Learning when to use each shows cultural awareness. Most Vietnamese people will be delighted if you try, even if you get it wrong occasionally.
The Handshake vs. The Nod
In business settings, handshakes are common and expected. In social settings, a slight nod or a smile is sufficient. Women don’t always shake hands with men in casual contexts — take your cue from them. A two-handed handshake (placing your left hand on the other person’s hand or arm) shows extra respect, especially with elders or senior businesspeople.
Shoes and Homes
Always remove your shoes before entering someone’s home. This is non-negotiable — it’s one of the strongest cultural norms in Vietnam. Most apartments and houses have a shoe rack or area near the door. Some offices also expect shoes to be removed. When in doubt, look at what others are doing at the entrance.
Slippers are often provided for guests. Don’t be surprised if your Vietnamese host insists you wear house slippers — refusing can feel rude. Many expats adopt this habit in their own apartments and find it surprisingly civilized.
Eating and Drinking Culture
Dining Etiquette
Vietnamese meals are typically shared — dishes are placed in the center of the table and everyone takes from them. Use your chopsticks (or the serving spoon provided) to take food from shared plates. Don’t stick your chopsticks straight up in a bowl of rice — this resembles incense sticks at a funeral and is considered very bad luck.
Slurping noodles is fine. Eating with your mouth open is common and not considered rude. Burping after a meal can actually be a compliment to the cook. The dining rules you grew up with may not apply here — relax and follow your hosts’ lead.
Drinking Culture
When drinking with Vietnamese friends or colleagues, expect toasts — lots of them. “Một, hai, ba, dô!” (1, 2, 3, drink!) is the standard cheer. If someone older toasts you, it’s polite to clink your glass slightly lower than theirs as a sign of respect. Beer is the social drink of choice, and sessions can go long. It’s okay to pace yourself — say “từ từ” (slowly) and people will understand.
Tipping
Tipping is not traditionally part of Vietnamese culture, and you won’t offend anyone by not tipping. That said, it’s becoming more common in tourist areas and upscale restaurants. A small tip (20,000–50,000 VND) for good service at a restaurant is appreciated but not expected. Grab drivers don’t expect tips. Hotel staff and tour guides do appreciate tips — 50,000–100,000 VND is standard.
Interacting with Landlords and Service Providers
Your relationship with your landlord in Vietnam is more personal than the transactional landlord-tenant dynamic in most Western countries. Landlords may ask personal questions (Are you married? How old are you? How much do you earn?) — these aren’t invasive in Vietnamese culture, they’re how people build relationships.
When you need something fixed, be patient and persistent but always polite. A calm message on Zalo with a photo of the issue works much better than an angry phone call. Follow up regularly but never aggressively. Remember the face principle — if you make your landlord feel attacked, they’ll become less helpful, not more.
The Things You’ll Learn Too Late
“Yes” doesn’t always mean yes. It can mean “I heard you,” “I’m being polite,” or “I don’t want to disappoint you.” Confirm important things multiple times through different channels.
Honking is communication, not aggression. A short beep means “I’m behind you” or “I’m coming through.” Don’t take it personally.
Being asked personal questions by strangers — your age, marital status, salary — is normal social conversation in Vietnam, not rudeness. You can deflect politely if you’re uncomfortable, but don’t be offended.
Bargaining is expected in markets and with street vendors but not in stores with fixed prices, restaurants, or supermarkets. If there’s a price tag, that’s the price.
Gift giving matters. If invited to someone’s home, bring fruit, sweets, or flowers. Wrap gifts in red or gold paper (lucky colors). Avoid black or white wrapping (associated with funerals). Gifts are typically not opened in front of the giver.
Vietnamese people are incredibly generous and hospitable. If you’re invited to a meal, your host will likely insist on paying — and the polite thing is to offer to pay once, accept their generosity, and reciprocate next time. Relationships here are built on ongoing exchanges of kindness, not transactional fairness.
The Best Advice
Approach everything with curiosity rather than judgment. The things that frustrate you in your first month — the noise, the indirect communication, the different sense of personal space and time — will become the things you appreciate most about living here. Vietnamese culture rewards patience, warmth, and genuine interest. Show those qualities consistently, and you’ll find that people go out of their way to help you in ways that rarely happen in more individualistic cultures.